dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
