i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i would punch a child for taco bell
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
