glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
