And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
