His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
