She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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