Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
