If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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