so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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