drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
