I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
