Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize