So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
