respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I believe in your delicious
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
