ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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