There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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