Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Everyone says I win the strip club
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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