official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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