I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
did you just send me my own nude
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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