I wish i was in the wii world.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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