I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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