Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
