i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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