That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
