I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
