I heard we made out
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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