come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
