like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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