he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
