Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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