I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize