this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize
