the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
