She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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