who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
