dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
