Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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