So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My liver just had a heart attack.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
