Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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