His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
