Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize