no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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