I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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