Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
