it was like having sex with a tree stump
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
