He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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