just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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