how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
