He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
high people should be assigned attendants
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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