Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
