i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
