Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
