Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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