this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just cut my nipple shaving
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize