cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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