Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
