remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
