I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
