Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
