His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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