Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
