Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize