she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
