maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
