Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Found the puke drawer
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
