drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
