you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
