I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
