dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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