His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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