Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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