I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
