Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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