Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize