yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
