Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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