If that was your dad, he is hot
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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